ICYMI: January 17, 2014

This is going to be my vacation face. Thanks, JLD.

I know we fully already covered these, but the Golden Globes this year were just so goddamn GIF-able. I’m gonna be abusing those for a few weeks. Let’s get started with a super-size ICYMI because I wrote a full and pretty great post last Friday and completely forgot to ever actually put it up! Great!

-In WORST NEWS EVER, Kristen Stewart is starring in some demented, straight-out-of-hell adaptation of the film version of 1984 which is obviously based on the book (one article I read went to great pains to specify this is an adaptation of the FILM, not novel, which is weird) but this one is ROMANTIC, SOMEHOW. Are they going to bang while rats eat their caged faces?! I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS ANY LESS. Goddammit.

-Well, in case you haven’t noticed, Frozen is a complete juggernaut. Not only has it grossed over $500 million at the box office, but it’s been nominated for two Oscars and is being adapted into a Broadway musical. Shit, Pixar. You better step it up.

Taylor Swift fans are mad at Tina Fey and Amy Poehler once again because they referenced her dig at them during the Golden Globes, with Tina telling Amy, “there’s a special place in hell for you.” In related news, Taylor Swift fans should probably just fuck off.

-Speaking of Tina and Amy, though, the Golden Globes should probably lock that shit down, because this telecast was the most watched in YEARS. Once again, suck it, Taylor Swift fans. Those ladies are straight up amazeballs. Or, as Jean-Ralphio might say, “that snizz is straight up deloysious.” (That quote doesn’t totally work here. I just wanted to include it.)

-Vulture tracked down some bloggers who did some investigative work to figure out what in the hell that mystery song is that beat out Lana del Rey for a Best Original Song nomination, and it seems like it’s some weird, creepy evangelical conspiracy with an inside man in the Academy. This has been a pretty strange week in pop culture and this actually somehow wins Weirdest Story in a landslide.

-Remember Kate Gosselin? No? Kind of? Eight kids, bad haircut? Well, since her ex-husband Jon Gosselin had a rather unflattering profile written about him in PhillyMag (he lives in a cabin and works at a restaurant in Bucks County, PA), I guess she figured it’s time to put herself back out there for some more fame-whoring, and she dragged her oldest twins and her bad hair extensions onto the Today show for the most awkward interview EVER. The girls are awkwardly silent while she desperately tries to prove how normal they are. It’s actually hilarious.

-Also regarding people who are tabloid fodder, Kim Kardashian went on Ellen and actually showed some really cute pictures of Baby North and Kanye. I mean, of course she’s cute, she’s a baby, and it’s really not her fault her parents are full-blown lunatics. Also, how does one go about DVR-ing Keeping Up with the Kardashians premiere this Sunday without her boyfriend making fun of her for it? Asking for a friend.

-Stephen Soderbergh will be making his directorial debut on the Broadway stage, and it will star the always lovely Chloe Grace Moretz . I think it’s fair to say we can have decently high hopes about that.

-The Critic’s Choice Awards were last night and 12 Years a Slave emerged victorious, with a Best Picture win AND, more importantly, a trophy for the splendid Lupita Nyong’o. The Supporting Actress race tightens once more.

-This was a big part of last week’s ICYMI that I wrote and forgot to post (SORRY) but HBO has finalized a whole bunch of premiere dates for the foreseeable future. Girls has been picked up for a fourth season; Boardwalk Empire‘s fifth and final season will air this year; (from the same article) Game of Thrones and Veep will return April 6; Vice, March 4; and two miniseries/movie projects will premiere in the spring and summer – Ryan Murphy’s The Normal Heart in May and the Damon Lindelof-helmed Tom Perrotta adaptation The Leftovers will arrive sometime in summer 2015. Whew.

I’ll be on vacation for a week (goodbye, cold and dreary East Coast, and hello, beach front in Barbados!!!) so Ben will be taking over the major blog duties this coming week, which means you can expect more well-thought out writing and less rambling about Kim Kardashian. Peace out, bitches!

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