Beyonce and Jay-Z at the Grammys: Winning at marriage since forever.

Last day of January, everyone! Now we get to move right along to February, which is also freezing, snowy and miserable, but with more candy hearts and a big football game I don’t care about. Cool! Let’s do this.

-At this point, we are all aware that tiny Canadian pop nugget Justin Bieber got arrested for a DUI and drag racing in Miami last week. Well, now he’s been arrested for assaulting a limo driver. Adorable! On the bright side, the petition to deport him from the United States has gotten so many signatures that the White House is actually required to address it. Don’t we just live in the greatest age of mankind, you guys? (Related news: I went to a pub quiz the other night and someone’s team name was “Deport Justin Bieber, Import His Monkey.” So good.)

-In way cooler celebrity news, Aaron Paul and Bill Murray totally hung out at an NYC Kings of Leon concert last night, and everyone else in the world felt jealous and fussy that they didn’t get to hang out with Aaron Paul and Bill Murray too. Non-Veronica Mars Rob Thomas was also there. (Remember Matchbox 20? Good times.) Also, I could have sworn Kings of Leon broke up a while ago, but they’re still playing and uniting awesome famous people, I guess.

-Dax Shepard, man partner to Kristen Bell and new father to little girl Lincoln, wrote a very funny and very excellent HuffPost editorial about paparazzi shots of celebrity children – namely, how wrong it is. He used the column to respond to some of the Twitter attacks he and Bell have received since they called for a boycott of tabloids that print pictures of celebrity children. He makes some excellent points about how stalking children isn’t and never will be okay (even though that seems like it should be obvious to all humans) and shares some sad facts, like that there’s been a car outside of their house since their baby was born in hopes of getting a picture, and how their baby’s name and birth details were printed by a tabloid before their extended family was even informed. He comes off like a caring father and a smart, funny guy – definitely worth a read, and worth thinking about if you’re a tabloid reader.

–Tina Fey appeared on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, Jerry Seinfeld’s webseries thing, and I admittedly haven’t watched it yet but I’m guessing it’s pretty amazing.

-During his State of the Union address the other night, President Obama threw in a Mad Men reference re: inequality towards women. Don Draper would be appalled, but it’s nice to be reminded that a) President Obama loves the ladies and b) he has good taste in television dramas.

–Miley Cyrus was on Unplugged and brought a full country-style backing band and Madonna. Despite all the trimmings, it… just wasn’t very good, especially the “Don’t Tell Me / We Can’t Stop” mashup she performed with Madonna, which was alternately flat and shrieky. She did wear a denim bikini top, though.

–New Game of Thrones season four production pictures have been released!! Scowling! Smirking! Khaleesi! No one has bathed! So exciting!! Is it April yet?!

-Two Anna Kendrick news items for the price of one: she did a hilarious non-Superbowl non-ad for Newcastle Brown Ale wherein she describes herself as not “beer commercial hot,” but “the hottest girl in your improv class hot;” and Pitch Perfect 2 will be released on May 15, 2015 and will be directed by Elizabeth Banks – although that doesn’t strictly count as Anna Kendrick news since she hasn’t officially joined the project yet.

-That weird evangelical song, “Alone Yet Not Alone,” that was nominated for a Best Original Song Oscar, has has had its nomination pulled, in a rare and nearly unprecedented move, amidst allegations that the composer abused his position in the Academy to score a nomination. I wonder if Harvey Weinstein would get away with exactly the same thing. (Probably.)

-Finally, David O. Russell wants to get his girl J-Law her second (possibly third, depending on how the extremely tight Supporting Actress race turns out this year) Oscar by writing her the lead role in a biopic about single mother slash inventor Joy Mangano, who apparently invented the Miracle Mop. I mean, that sounds pretty awesome. I’m game.

Throughout the week and weekend, we’ll be putting up more Best Picture Profiles and predictions. Get out there and see some movies! And watch that dumb football game, if you feel so inclined.