Cool it, Franco. 18 or older.

It’s April, guys. Please, let it get warmer for real.

-Here’s the big one: Letterman is retiring in 2015. The Internet is literally exploding with possibilities for his replacement and our very own Ben is insisting that he’ll be the new Late Show host, but no one can ever truly replace Letterman. I know he’s getting up there, but I grew up with his late-night presence and I’ll miss him dearly.

-Wondering why I picked a creepy James Franco gif? It’s probably because he tried to pick up an underage girl through DM on Instagram. (Does DM stand for direct message or dick message?! Heyooo!) Maybe he’s just doing some weird performance art, you guys. Let’s wait and see.

-Quentin Tarantino’s Western script The Hateful Eight, which was leaked and now will never be produced because Tarantino is being super pissy about it, will have a reading perfomed in LA, so at least people will get to hear it!

-Oh, and speaking of Tarantino, Brad Pitt will be returning to World War II, but this time it’s in a romance, which is confusing to me.

-Remember how worked up I got over the ending of How I Met Your Mother? Well, I’m still pretty mad. But someone made a video that fixes the ending by deleting the entire Robin part, so that’s comforting. Would that have been so hard, writers?!?

-You know what show will never disappoint me like that, though? Always Sunny, which has been renewed for two more seasons by FXX, which has also picked up a show from Tracy Morgan. Thank you, FXX, for never being CBS.

-Bryan Cranston will write a memoir about the “secrets and lies” he lived with for six years while filming Breaking Bad. Does that just mean he couldn’t tell anyone spoilers? Because I’m guessing that actually is super stressful.

-A former Hollywood assistant wrote an anonymous tell-all on The Cut. Apparently she used to work for someone who put weed in her carryon and made her dump people, and the Internet is abuzz with who it could be. Well, personally, my money’s on Gwyneth. My money is ALWAYS on Gwyneth.

-And, finally, Vulture has announced the events for VultureFest, its first ever convention, and it’ll include M.I.A., the casts of Orange is the New Black and Broad City, and other amazing things. I’ll be there, so come hang out with me!!

Have a great weekend, everybody, and hopefully by next weekend, it will legitimately be spring. Watch for Game of Thrones and Veep recaps this week, as well as a review of HBO’s new comedy Silicon Valley!