Hi! I’m finally here! Let’s judge some dresses! (For clarification: I’m on ABC.)

7:11 – Rosamund Pike, Best Actress of my heart, looks PHENOM. Whoever tailored that dress nailed it.

7:16 – Anna Kendrick, in a pink halter with a keyhole neckline, is also killing it.

7:23 – Felicity Jones’ dress is… a mess. On several, terrible levels. The bodice is gross and weird, and the skirt is slowly eating her.

7:25 – Jimmy Kimmel is doing a really awkward bit with the blonde one from GMA, and she doesn’t have a particularly good sense of comedic timing.

7:26 – Did I mention how great Robin Roberts’ dress is? Because it is.

7:27 – Kevin Hart’s tuxedo is legitimately bonkers.

7:32 – Julianne Moore is wearing a winner’s dress. Which is for the best, obviously.

7:36 – Lara Spencer forces Melanie Griffith and Dakota Johnson to talk about 50 Shades, and no one wins.

7:37 – Marion Cotillard is still unrealistically pretty, but that dress looks like a three hole punch gone horribly awry.

7:41 – CHRIS PRATT WELP I’M DEAD

7:42 – Anna Faris is there too. She looks great, actually.

7:45 – Just saw Lupita. Just died. Am in heaven now.

8:03 – Sorry. Was dead for a while. Emma Stone is dressed like an Oscar and I LOVE IT.

8:06 – I feel personally victimized by Naomi Watts’ bandeau bra.

8:14 – “Joining me now, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, in 2002!”

8:19 – Gaga is wearing an Alaia. It’s, like, a totally important designer.

8:26 – GUYS MICHAEL STRAHAN IS INCREDIBLY HYPE OMG

8:27 – Signing off! Oscars coverage next!