Welcome back to In Case You Missed It, after a who-gives-a-shit how long hiatus, just in time for a huge, BACK TO SCHOOL EDITION. (Doesn’t matter that I’ve been out of college for three solid years. Let that go.) Welcome back and buckle up, cause guess what? All the stuff happened this week. All of it.
We’re excited too, Ellie Kemper! Your new show, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, is now on Netflix, and I’m planning on passing this snowy, cold day with Kimmy, Jenna Maroney and a bag (or six) of PopCorners. (There’s also a new Aziz Ansari special up today – just a friendly PSA). That all being said – what happened this week?
-Speaking of funny ladies I’m a big fan of, Jenny Slate is getting her own show on FX, which she’ll be cowriting with Gillian Robespierre, her collaborator on Obvious Child! If I’m being honest, I kind of want it to be a spinoff about Mona-Lisa Saperstein’s life, but I’ll settle for just about anything.
-Alec Baldwin will be returning to television as the mayor of New York in a new series on HBO, but unlike 30 Rock, it will be an hour long drama. First episode: the mayor of New York creates a stir by screaming homophobic things at a paparazzo.
-There’s a new Avengers: Age of Ultron trailer out, which offers us a glimpse at Vision. Google him if you want to know the deal, because I tried and comics are unexpectedly complicated, so I’m not gonna try.
-This week in hilarious Sony gaffes: sources are claiming that Amy Pascal can’t move into her new office, previously occupied by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, because the “pot stench” is so overpowering. Seth Rogen, predictably, shot back. You know what the obvious solution is here? Lock them in that office with a whole bunch of weed. Problem solved.
-The mass exodus from The Daily Show continues, as do my tears. Samantha Bee will also be leaving, but NOT for the show she’s co-running for the channel with husband Jason Jones – she’s actually getting her own Daily Show-type thing. Guess I’ll be, um, watching TBS now. This is a weird feeling.
–Harrison Ford is recovering today after crashing a small plane he was piloting – though aviation experts made it clear he handled the situation expertly, because Harrison Ford is a badass who’s good at everything.
-The Oscars are considering going back to the five Best Picture nominee model because after the whole Dark Knight snub controversy, they have failed to nominate, you know, any blockbuster movies (American Sniper aside). Well, that was a fun exercise.
-Now that Netflix has scooped up some Emmys and Golden Globes, they’re gunning for an Oscar or two – they paid $12 million for Cary Fukunaga’s film, Beasts of No Nation, which will focus on child soldiers and star international mom-crush Idris Elba.
-Quick movie casting news! Dan Stevens, formerly known as the guy who died on Downton that made everybody very sad, will be the Beast to Emma Watson’s Beauty in, well, Beauty in the Beast. Also, Jennifer Lawrence and Sir Stevie will be teaming up for a film about Lynsey Addario, who’s served as a war photographer in multiple combat zones – and as we’ve seen in, I don’t know, all of the Hunger Games films, J-Law’s pretty solid in combat.
That’s all for this week! We’ll, uh, write some things this week. For sure. Definitely.
We are ALL Left Shark, you guys. Let’s get to it.
-Speaking of the Superbowl, I still think it was kind of unfair to embarrass Katy Perry like that, because Missy Elliott literally performed circles around her. That being said, a lot of kids didn’t know who she was. Obviously, these are the same kids who are still unfamiliar with Paul McCartney.
–Amy Pascal stepped down at Sony and is becoming is a producer there instead. I’m sure this has NOTHING AT ALL to do with all of those humiliating leaked emails. Nothing at all.
-Speaking of internal kerfuffles, there’s some real shit happening behind the scenes of Fifty Shades of Grey. Namely, the author and director clashed over the majority of the scenes that ended up in the movie, and the two leads clearly hate each other. Defamer has a great quote roundup wherein Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson talk about how terrible this whole experience was, because they’re human beings with a little bit of taste. Guys, this movie is going to be the hottest of messes. Let’s all get drunk and go.
-There is a single silver lining in the whole Fifty Shades situation, and it is that Beyonce has two new remixes of “Crazy in Love” and “Haunted.” Unsurprisingly, they are amazing, and each one is better than the entire movie, probably.
-More music news: there’s a new music edition of Celebrities Read Mean Tweets, and the lesson to be learned is that Psy truly does not give a fuck and he probably never will.
–The Late Late Show on CBS is currently between hosts, and they are getting the weirdest selection of people to host. It’s delightful, honestly. Adam Pally kicked things off this week with Ben Schwartz and it was completely bizarre, and John Mayer followed his lead by interviewing Katy’s Superbowl sharks. I kind of hope they never find a real host, tbh.
–Damon Wayans, Jr. is leaving New Girl. FOR A SECOND TIME. No one cares the second time around, dude.
-Kiernan Shipka, everyone’s favorite Sally Draper, would like to be on Veep. CAN SOMEONE MAKE THIS HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE?!?!?!?!
-And, finally, George R.R. Martin’s original gameplan for Game of Thrones was unearthed this week, and it is a LOT better than Hermione Granger’s last name originally being Puckle. Most importantly, Jon and Tyrion were supposed to be lusting after Arya for the entire series, which is straight up hilarious.
More Oscar profiles this week! And stuff! Yay!
It’s been a WEEK, guys. Let’s get down to business.
–Comedy Central will be ROASTING JUSTIN BIEBER, which almost seems like shooting fish in a barrel, because every comedian has at least four back-pocket jokes about him already. That’s not to say this won’t be amazing. It’ll probably be amazing.
-Lea Michele told Jimmy Kimmel that she barfed everywhere while singing “Let it Go” for the Glee season premiere (perfectly demonstrating how the general public now feels about both Glee and “Let it Go”), and that, more importantly, there’s a slow-motion video of it. I think Ryan Murphy should probably reconsider Glee series finale and just show that video, on a loop, for an hour.
-Speaking of Glee (ugh), one of their baby stars, Melissa Benoit, has been cast as Supergirl for a new CBS series. I don’t know who that is and didn’t know Supergirl was happening, and reading slash reporting this news has aged me by five years.
-Do you want to watch TWO WHOLE SECONDS of footage from Game of Thrones‘ fifth season? Here you go.
–Rooney Mara and Tatiana Maslany are screen-testing for the new Star Wars series, which is so extremely exciting on about 25 different levels. Hopefully there will be like, 80 Tatiana Maslanys.
-More good things! NBC has greenlit a new series called Apocalypse, and so far, it will star Rob Lowe, Megan Mullally, and Jenna Fischer. Can’t argue with THAT.
-This ICYMI is so full of the best things. NPR Music got the Broad City and Sleater-Kinney laydeez together for an interview, and it was predictably magical.
-Somebody at Saturday Night Live made the amazing decision to pair J.K. Simmons and D’Angelo as the host and musical guest for January 31.
-On his second show ever, Larry Wilmore went bold and declared that Cosby definitely did it. Is Larry Wilmore married? Does he want to marry me, maybe?
-We had to get to SOMETHING stupid in this ICYMI because it was way too happy, so here it is. Many moons ago, when Ben and I had just started this blog, I wrote a piece about how impossible it was going to be to adapt actual garbage book Fifty Shades of Grey into a garbage movie – but, specifically, I wrote about The Tampon Scene. (I am not explaining this again. Look it up.) Anyway, they’re cutting it from the movie, which is… I mean, it makes sense, but I don’t know what they’re gonna fill this movie with if they’re cutting all the gross sex scenes. Now when I get drunk and go see it, I’m just gonna fall asleep!
That’s all for this week. More Oscar stuff soon! Probably!
It’s the first ICYMI of 2015, and George DOES NOT CARE. That’s fine. We’ll soldier on anyway.
-This is obviously the most important story of all time: esteemed Oscar nominee “Dick Poop” thinks we’re all losers for laughing at that classic, incredible misread by Cheryl Boone Isaacs (if you would like to watch it one million times like I did, here’s the Vine). Maybe we are. Or maybe it’s definitely the funniest thing to EVER happen during the nominee announcement.
-Delightful human being H. Jon Benjamin did an AMA and it was exactly as delightful as you would expect.
-Speaking of delightful things, Melissa McCarthy has teamed up with Paul Feig once again for Spy, which also stars Jason Statham, Jude Law, and McCarthy’s Bridesmaids co-star Rose Byrne, so basically this will be the GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE. (That may come back to bite me in the ass later.) The trailer is red-band, FYI.
-James Cameron has announced that the Avatar sequels (sequels?!) will be delayed until 2017. OH NO. I AM DEVASTATED. THIS IS THE WORST NEWS. (Sarcasm does not always translate well in print.)
-Back to great and hilarious and good things: Broad City has already been renewed for season 3, which is yes; and the Netflix reboot of Wet Hot American Summer added like 400 excellent people to the cast who weren’t in the original movie, including Lake Bell, Josh Charles, Michaela Watkins, and John Slattery (!!!). Comedy nerds! Assemble!!
-One hot guy replaces another: Jake Gyllenhaal may be replacing Tom Hardy, who had to drop out of David Ayer’s Suicide Squad due to scheduling conflicts (specifically, Mad Max and a new Inarritu movie, so that’s fair).
-Ben Affleck, David Fincher and Gillian Flynn will be teaming up to try for an Oscar nomination again (… too soon?) by remaking Strangers on a Train (which will likely be shortened to Strangers.) Hitchcock remakes can be tricky (remember the Vince Vaughn-Gus Van Sant Psycho?) but if anyone can nail this, it’s definitely those three.
-Anna Kendrick and Ryan Reynolds also get creepy in Vulture’s exclusive trailer for The Voices, which will be out in theaters and on VOD at the beginning of next month.
-And, finally – as you know, the Oscar nominations came out yesterday and everyone was collectively furious about most of them. There was ANOTHER set of nominations that came out yesterday, however, that got everything exactly right… The Razzie nominations!! Left Behind, Blended, Transformers: Age of Extinction, and Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas are among the, um, honorees. They’ve also introduced a “Redeemer Award” this year to reward former Razzie winners whose careers have since been looking up – the first ever nominees for this award are Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Keanu Reeves, Kristen Stewart, and Mike Myers.
Well, we’ll be here all month with Oscar coverage, and I’ll be finishing up my AHS recap (ughhhh) this coming Wednesday! Use this long weekend to see as many Best Picture nominees as you can!
Welcome back to ICYMI! Sorry that this column has been a bit spotty throughout the summer, but I promise now that fall’s here, we’ll be back on track! Let’s get started.
-I’m sure you are aware, as a (semi) functioning member of society, that there is a 12-day, 24-hour Simpsons marathon on FXX of every episode ever (it began yesterday). Vulture has some tips on how to make the most of it.
-Oh, and in case you’re not sufficiently overwhelmed by television options for the next almost two weeks, Comedy Central has uploaded every episode of Broad City onto its website for free, I believe for the next month. Run, don’t walk.
-After a fake teaser was leaked about a month ago (disappointing fans like me everywhere), the first real teaser for American Horror Story: Freak Show is FINALLY here. It tells us nothing, as it should.
-So, the Emmys are coming up on Monday (as if we’ve let you forget that for a second this week), and to promote them, Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston starred in a beautifully funny Breaking Bad reunion with Julia Louis-Dreyfus. I mean, really. What more could you possibly ask for??
-Speaking of the Emmys, some of the awards were presented at the Creative Arts Emmys last Saturday night, with SNL taking home a handful of trophies (including one for the Jimmy Fallon-hosted episode this past season), and Allison Janney (Masters of Sex), Joe Morton (Scandal) and Uzo Aduba (Crazy Eyes slash Suzanne on Orange is the New Black) all receiving EXTREMELY well-deserved guest acting Emmys. I love all three of those people, so congratulations!
-And speaking of Emmy nominees doing other things, Peter Dinklage and Taylor Schilling will headline an off-Broadway production of Turgenev’s “A Month in the Country,” which will be directed by Dinklage’s wife, Erica Schmidt. The sound you’re hearing right now is the sound of my credit card leaving my wallet.
-And, speaking of celebrities I love, Chris Pratt continued his “best guy ever” tour by visiting a children’s hospital in LA dressed as Star-Lord, his character from Guardians of the Galaxy. Between this, the french-braiding and the Smirnoff Ice-chugging, I think I might be in love.
What a positive ICYMI this week! Well, I’m sure something totally shitty will happen in the world of pop culture before we know it. We’ll be updating this weekend and finishing our Make Your Case series, and extensively covering the Emmys on Monday!
Happy Guardians of the Galaxy day and first day of August, y’all! (No, I have not seen it yet. I have a new puppy to deal with.) Since it’s raining, I had all afternoon to write ICYMI, and I’m just now getting to it at 6pm. Great!
-Remember our one-act play about Allison Williams being cast in NBC’s inevitably awful Peter Pan live thing? Brian Williams one-upped us by having the dadiest dad response of all dad time.
-Also, wondering why we chose an old Chris Pratt GIF today? Just kidding, you’re not. I’ve already mentioned Guardians of the Galaxy twice by this point and I’m only on the second item. Anyway, the post-credits scene stars a horrifying 80s human-animal hybrid movie star – you’ve been warned.
-A new poster for Tarantino’s upcoming movie, The Hateful Eight, has surfaced, which I suppose means he got over his hissyfit after parts of the script were leaked a while back. GOOD. We need a follow-up to Django that, well, isn’t such a hot mess.
-Iggy Azalea will be spending time in the actual fast lane, since she scored a cameo in the upcoming Fast & Furious 7, because when your racing movie is light on plot you can shoehorn in completely random celebrity cameos.
-James Franco, in his most entertaining art project yet, did his best to make Stephen Colbert break character by asking about his move to The Late Show – forgetting that the “Stephen Colbert” character was passed over for the job and is severely bitter about it. He obviously failed, because Stephen Colbert is STONE COLD COMMITTED. God, I’m gonna miss him.
-Speaking of “artistes,” Hilary Duff released a new song with an even worse video! Happy 2002, everyone!!!
-Let’s change things up and talk about people who are great. The incredible Jenny Slate will appear on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, because she’s the best and is already friends with the showrunner, thanks to her cameos on Parks & Rec as Mona-Lisa Saperstein. I can only hope this is actually a crossover and she’ll be appearing on Brooklyn Nine-Nine as Mona-Lisa Saperstein, who has moved to Brooklyn and is stealing coffee grinders from various Stumptown locations.
-The Into the Woods trailer has been released, and there’s no singing in it, but there IS Johnny Depp’s furry hand, plus a lot of very famous people with dirt smudged on their faces. And, MERYL. Duh. Bow down.
-Vulture had two great articles this week: first, they posted beautiful pictures of Orlando Bloom with shitty Bieber lyrics, in wake of Legolas (almost) punching him in the face in Ibiza this week; and second, they pinpointed the stupidest moment in Sharknado 2, which I haven’t seen, but apparently the dumbest part of a movie about shark tornadoes was when they pretended Tara Reid is literate, so.
–Lorde will be “curating” the soundtrack for Mockingjay: Part 1, so since she’s 17, we can only hope the entire soundtrack is remixes of “Call Me Maybe.” Kidding- she’s definitely got better taste in music than that. But that’s what I would do if I got to curate a Hunger Games soundtrack.
–Spike Jonze will guest star on Girls, in what is sure to be an extremely existential and lonely episode. (I just told my boyfriend this news and he grimaced and said, “Jesus, what a rough combo.”)
-And, finally, after winning an Oscar for his admittedly incredible performance as Ray Charles, Jamie Foxx will be playing boxer and noted rapist Mike Tyson, because I guess after Ray, there’s nowhere to go but downwards.
Ben and I will both be out of town next week, so no new ICYMI until the 15th, but keep an eye out for our pre-Emmys series, Make Your Case, coming this month!