Category Archives: Listicle

01.11.17
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Things I Learned Watching My First Episode of ‘The Bachelor’

CORRINE, RAVEN, SARAH, LAUREN, LACEY, SUSANNAH, ANGELA, DOMINIQUE, ALEXIS, ELIZABETH W., KRISTINA, OLIVIA, BRIANA, NICK VIALL, DANIELLE M., WHITNEY, JASMINE, JAIMI, IDA MARIE, VANESSA, TAYLOR, HAILEY, RACHEL, BRITTANY, ASTRID, CHRISTEN, JOSEPHINE, ELIZABE

I LOVE trash television. I am the live action Grinch of trash television. I devour it. I hoard it. I construct my own beautiful, twisted world with it and inside it. Reality shows of all shapes, sizes, genres, and networks give me life. Whether that happens via schadenfreude or envy, I’m not entirely sure. **SPOILER ALERT for season 21 of The Bachelor**

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10.23.15
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THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN MOVIES THAT MAKE ME HATE MOVIES

  • A shot of the protagonist doing something stupid/embarrassing with a voiceover of them saying “This is me. I know, right?”
  • Employing a voiceover device, and then dropping it halfway through the movie.
  • Most voiceovers, to be honest.
  • A movie set in the past with characters speculating about “future” technology, ultimately saying something like “Yeah, like THAT will ever happen.”
  • That moment 2/3rds of the way through the movie where two characters have a rift in their relationship, and they wallow in sadness via a montage set to a fucking Ben Folds song.
  • Farts. Just…farts.
  • When a dog/baby does that thing where they are somehow embarrassed for the protagonist so they cover their face up as if they understand the concept of shame. They don’t. They are a dog/baby.